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(no subject) [May. 6th, 2011|07:49 pm]
The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time; the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars. - jack kerouac
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eat your heart out and suck it boy's [May. 2nd, 2011|11:46 pm]
i am going to give up boys.

entirely..at least for my health
- one entire year.

deciated to me.
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Writer's Block: Sweet and solo [Feb. 12th, 2010|02:11 am]

Have you ever made up an excuse to avoid a social obligation so you could spend the evening by yourself? Do your friends and/or family understand when you need some quality time alone?
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(no subject) [Dec. 13th, 2009|07:40 pm]
your team has got to have disapline.

youve got to have independence.

and youve got to thrive.

no matter how hard you party u got to make sure you work twice as hard.
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(no subject) [Dec. 9th, 2009|09:01 pm]
you want to give yourself a career.
you don't want to have to relie on a husband.
you want financia;l independence.
this christmas give yourself of independence

thats my turtle shell with people i think im not worthy cause
i havent much. i cant just do and own it .
i always adjust to people and it kills my insides and takes
my life away . i want to own it. but how do you own it .
before id just run run and withdawl always with gulit.
ever leting myself stand and support myself.
supporting yourself from nothing is scary because it feels help less.
but thats okay i just have to ignore everyone and move forward.
move forward even if your unwanted Force yourself from what you want.
your worth it.screw uncertainy screw where you are
just do do DO fuck it and get going.
No one is worth convinceing what
you no is truth for yourself .
EXPLAIN NOTHING ,just do what you need to
be doing to get where you want .

you cant wait or ask for what it is your wanting
and it doesnt have to be justified. live the life you want
it doesnt have to match society and it want please people
but does that matter incomparison to a life not lived its your own
you owe it to no one use it the way that fills the wants that others cant feel .
live your life.dont live anyother way or you will deserve little because you tryed for little. to make others happy is easier. push and make evryone question
you because your actually doing somthing instead of poping out babies an hiding in
a strangers arms. your being you separate yourself. dont listen to small minds they want get it.
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(no subject) [Dec. 9th, 2009|05:34 pm]
i forgot my ambitions and my sleep patterns trying get to do things at others whims and sheduals .
now i have to start up my good habbits of sleep time and fitness and being health concious and active.
15, 20 lbs heavier with no struture .
cant whine just gotta do it pecie by pecie.
band art -set deadline
- Set work shedual for it
(while sea bass is at school)
- Maria to deign decorate room like a hotel.
- yard sale a side table/lamp/ jawers
- Set up bed frame
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(no subject) [Nov. 10th, 2009|08:41 pm]
today was  the slowest day of my life id rather not relive it . i dont want to go back there to those days were were i felt like i had to hide a dirty sercret  of change that i needed medicine,.so what. fuck off. people who never had an issue in there lives always shout the loudest. they say the same ill educated thing every damn time.clue less as usual  the only reason why you would take medicine is if you had somthing dibilitating your life .itd have to be affecting what you know is not right, that is starting to stabatage your life.  
 people that dont experience it to an unnessary degree everyday wouldnt understand it.
 just tell em' to get a medical text book and shut the fuck up.
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(no subject) [Nov. 5th, 2009|09:41 pm]
maybe people arent boring.maybe were just
interested in different things and i cant relate to
what your interested in.
i want people who are alive and have a pulse
who recogise life for what it is ]to eat up the world and
not feel my ear up with mudane things
i mean where all mudane pull the pants on one leg time
but come on filter and elaborate what you say
because i dont give a fuck about the weather'
give me somthing worth my time, or i will look up at you
with empty eyes because you bore mankind you
kill the life out of me .now outta my face

i use to fill bad when i hated the company i was with not hate
thats a strong word but when you feel the sloooow drain and you just want to scream
because theres nothing.
well baby its not you
and it aint me! so now that i know its just a conflic or lack of interest im okay with that.
i go to bed in peace now. i like that ,i can not feel bad i can just be.
my fucking AH ha moment BEAT THAT OPRAH WHINFREY
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(no subject) [Oct. 2nd, 2009|07:34 pm]
i want to  be a writer but honestly,. i think to hard and blow it. 
i want to live so bold but my beds so comfortable if i stay to long its a trap.
god i want things that are so much better than me you no the things tha
t seem so well packaged so nomal. suppose these creatures are not better
or above me? dont fuckin blow the illusion , ethier way because i want to believe in
somthing better than me.maybe a grownup. sometimes i fall back so hard on juvenille
that i throw my hands up in the air and just dare someone to let me fall .
i swear i belong in a solo exsistence like monks one were no one has any influennce or distraction.
extremes are nessary for me to win otherwise i give up.
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(no subject) [Jul. 8th, 2009|11:11 am]

Facebook - is nothing private anymore?
sebastions up.wheres my life?
i havent anytime for it anymore.

dont have a silent nervous breakdown.-
one thing at a time.
  • #1 Job
  • temp agency
         gym membership 75 flat.
         account put in money.
Things that are important to me.
 - set /shedualed routines
    gym classes

class start dates
-take painting class

Don't look back, you can never look back."~ Don Henley
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